The Worthless Prayer

In my last post, I wrote about our place of hurt. Our place of hurt is as individual as each of us. Its’ origins are varied as well.

It is easy to get stuck in the sinking sand of despair when any slight can take us back dwelling in our place of hurt. I remember a time in the summer of 2016 when I was utterly stuck in my place of hurt. Since the summer of 2009 after losing my career and executive title, I struggled to find a new career, even while establishing a contract landed a position finally that would put me back into the career that helped my family attain a comfortable lifestyle. A former colleague had referred me to a company I was very familiar with, the interview went well and the person who interviewed me said she was passing me onto the next step in the hiring process. In less than 24 hours later, I received a standard rejection notice by email.

Like a punch in the gut, all the air went out of my body. I was in total shock.

“I don’t understand, God!” I wailed internally. “I don’t know what else you want from me. I don’t know what else to do!”

The only way I can describe the despair was I felt hollow. I had nothing left to give.

Worthless

In that moment, my sense of unworthiness was at its’ peak. I told my husband, I don’t know what else I can do. After literally submitting hundreds of online resumes’, interviews that always held out promise, I was beyond being despondent.

I could not even begin to pray. I literally just didn’t have any words. I would look at the blank page in my prayer journal in the darkness of my despair and close the cover. Then I turned to reading God’s Word and I opened my prayer journal once again. Although I did not have the words, God certainly did. I began to re-write my favorite bible verses in my prayer journal and other verses I had learned through my daily devotional readings. Inspirational quotes from some of my favorite authors began to flash on my social media feeds that described their countless rejections. God was talking to me.

I prayed on God’s promises.

Shortly thereafter, I had an interview within an industry similar of my contracting business, but it would mean learning and starting something new all over again. I told my husband that if I didn’t get this job, I was done interviewing. I was giving up.

I simply prayed, “Dear Lord, help me to accept and trust in my future. Amen”

I was still in my car 30 minutes after finishing the interview when I received a telephone call from the human resources recruiter telling me I had the job if I wanted it. I gratefully accept the job.

The Worthless Prayer

Guess what? Within two years my position was eliminated along with almost 600 of my co-workers. The company had decided to exit the industry.

Was my prayer worthless?

You may have seen the same memes or inspirational devotions that I have that read, “God always answers prayers. His answer may be “yes,” “no” or “not yet.”

I do NOT believe that sentiment for one split second. I have since come to believe that God always says, “YES!”

God says, “Yes, I hear you.”

God says, “Yes, I love you.”

God says, “Yes, you ARE worthy.”

God says, “I did not sacrifice my son, Jesus Christ to say “no” or “maybe.” He died for you! If you only accept and trust your future to me.”

When I was re-writing God’s promises in my prayer journal, they were becoming etched into my heart. I knew God would provide me another employment opportunity.

Our Place of Hurt

When my colleagues and I were all standing in that conference room listening to the president of the company tell us about the decision to exit the industry, how the dissolution of the company would play out, and how long we would have our jobs I looked around the room and saw all those places of hurt in my colleagues’ faces. I had been in their shoes in the summer of 2009 and I prayed I would not put those shoes back on and walk in my own place of hurt again.

My place of hurt originated when I was a child and I have often visited that place of hurt. It’s difficult not to go to that place of unworthiness, but the more I trust God with my future, I don’t stay long in my place of hurt for very long and the visits become further and further apart. I pray my way out of it even when I don’t have the words.

I am worthy. God even gave me the words to pray – HIS words. His promises.

Within two weeks I would again begin a new another new career in a different industry. I didn’t even stay to collect my severance package.

tree of life.jpg
From the prayer journal

Dear Lord, teach me to trust the Spirit You have breathed into me. Give me grace to believe Your Word, which I am made me Your child. Help me to understand that I am worthy because I belong to You. Enable me to live without despair and accept again the new life of my Lord, Jesus Christ. Lead me in joy by teaching me to no longer build walls of fear that protect myself from coming to You in prayer even when my words will not come out.

Father, help me to live in that joy where others can see You in my faith and service to You wherever and in whatever capacity you place me.

I love You. In Jesus Christ’s name I pray, Amen

May I pray for you?

We all have our place of hurt. Wherever and whenever your place of hurt originated or if you visiting that place of hurt right now, just remember you are worthy.

The Prayer Journal’s blog is my personal spiritual journey in conjunction with writing my spiritual memoir.

Please reach out to The Prayer Journals if I can answer any questions about keeping a prayer journal of your own. A prayer journal is an intimate communication between you and God. You don’t have to be an articulate writer. Use your gifts to communicate with God by perhaps with your talent as an illustrator, a painter, a poet, a lyricist or creator of scrapbooks. God enjoys hearing from you. I know you will be blessed! I know I am!
I enjoy hearing from you too! I’m praying for you.

Blessings on your day,

Sheri

Connect with The Prayer Journals

Facebook:     Facebook/ThePrayerJournals/PrayerPrompts
Twitter:         @PrayerPrompts
Email:           Hoot@thebloggingowl.com
© 2017-2018 All Rights Reserved

Transformation Opportunities

Thanksgiving Day and Black Friday are extreme notions, aren’t they? One day we are thankful for our many blessings and the next day we are expressing our greed in the exploitation of the coming holiday season. The questions in the shopper’s mind are often, “What does he need?” or “What does she want?”

And I began to think, “What is important?”

A couple of months ago I began a de-cluttering of the house to transform the family household into a minimalist lifestyle. In the process I either misplaced, donated or inadvertently threw out all my journals, prayer journals and poetry journals. Years of writing. Gone. It has taken me these past months to reconcile that I may never see my journals again. I am not sure I fully have reconciled to the thought of that I may never find them. It has been like a punch in the gut as though I have lost a loved one.

How important are my journals?

Perhaps not as important as to someone who has suddenly without expectation lost a loved one as a dear friend whose sister passed away this past week from a freak accident. Or not as important as a person’s health who like another dear friend lost most of her internal organs after a recent surgery only to discover it was indeed ovarian cancer instead of something benign.

While those journals were personally important to me for various reasons, did I need them? I thought I did, and being truthful, I still do want them. Badly.

I find myself feeling ridiculous when my friends have lost something more precious – a loved one, their health, and other friends who have lost their livelihood. And yet, I am still stressing over my need for these journals that were a tangible, but an indispensable part of my life. Those journals told my life story of my struggles, my desires, my dreams and my sins.

How important is Jesus Christ?

You received Christ Jesus the Lord, so continue to live as Christ’s people. Sink your roots into him and build on him. Be strengthened by the faith that you were taught and overflow with thanksgiving.” Colossians 2:6-7

When I look at what I have lost in my life, I cannot ignore what I have gained in its place. I have learned from my prayer journals that what is most important is my communication and relationship with Christ. I may have lost my physical journals; but I still have something even more tangible and indispensable in my life – Jesus Christ.

Whatever I am searching for in life, may they be wants or needs, God is still transforming me for His purpose. Whether I try to distinguish wants from needs or vice versa, both are opportunities for God to transform my life as one of His own. In order, for me to become everything He has created me to be I must learn to believe in and on His trustworthiness.

Whatever is lost and whatever is gained must always be in faith through Christ who strengthens me.

The Broken Jar

From today’s prayer journal

Dear Lord of my life, I know that my life is not my own. By Your death and resurrection, You made me Your own. Help me to live under Your direction, always ready to see, not what was lost, but always aware of Your presence to see what is gained. May others see this transformation in me, so they may receive Your love and mercy through me.

It is not easy for me to ask for these things Lord of what I must give up so I no longer pretend that my life is not my own. My prayer is to surrender everything to Your care and direction. I want to follow You and accept whatever the outcome, but I confess it is difficult at times. When I fail. When I fall time and time again, show me again that there is love, forgiveness and mercy. Use me in spite of my reluctance to let go of what I want and what I believe I need to follow You.

I love You. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen

May I pray for you?

The Prayer Journals’ blog is my personal spiritual journey in conjunction with writing my spiritual memoir.

Please reach out to The Prayer Journals if I can answer any questions about keeping a prayer journal of your own. A prayer journal is an intimate communication between you and God. You don’t have to be an articulate writer. Perhaps you are an illustrator, a painter, a poet, a lyricist or creator of scrapbooks. Use your gifts to communicate with God. God enjoys hearing from you. I know you will be blessed!

I enjoy hearing from you too! I’m praying for you.

Blessings on your day,

Sheri

Connect with The Prayer Journals

Facebook: Facebook/ThePrayerJournals/PrayerPrompts
Twitter: @PrayerPrompts
Email: Hoot@thebloggingowl.com

© 2017-2018 All Rights Reserved